Grieving couple turns loss into positive for other families

Photography by Jason Masters

Paige Porter Laub knew something was wrong.

The young woman had been through pregnancy before and was well-attuned to how her latest should be coming along. So when she went to bed that evening in January, she could tell something was off. 

“About 7:30 p.m., I noticed I hadn’t felt a lot of movement,” she said. “Me, being stubborn as ever, I was like, it’s fine. We’re going to wait, and I’ll eat some cookies and he’ll move. He never did.”

The next morning, the couple arrived at Ozark Healthcare where they were met by their nurse, Melissa Hadley. 

“Melissa couldn’t find a heartbeat. So, she got her head nurse, and she couldn’t find the heartbeat,” Paige said. “So then, in probably five minutes, we had our doctor in there to give us the news.”

Baby Aaron was born asleep on January 29, 2020. Devastated though they were, Paige and her husband Mark remember being surrounded by love and support through the shock of the loss. 

“It was amazing,” Paige said. “Melissa was just phenomenal. She stayed by my side through everything and coached me and laughed with me and cried with me.

“Dr. Roylance, was just an absolute godsend. I’m pretty sure he cleared his entire morning schedule just to sit up there with us and have uplifting conversations and just be there. He didn’t have to do that.”

The Laubs noticed the staff kept apologizing for not having a cuddle cot, a device that cools the infant’s body and allows families more time to say goodbye. On the way home, Paige and Mark reflected on the conversation. 

“As soon as we left the hospital, buying a cuddle cot became our goal,” Paige said. “We didn’t get a whole lot of time with Aaron after he passed away. It was really important for us that other families had that opportunity.”

Seeing as how cuddle cots can range from $3,000 to $6,000 depending on model, the couple couldn’t afford to just write a check for one. Instead, they launched a fundraising campaign in April to purchase the device. They gave themselves a five-year window to raise the targeted amount but reached their goal in just a couple of months, underscoring the power of their story. 

Mark said the process of raising the money had a therapeutic effect for the couple, too. 

“At first, I was like, whatever. I don’t think we’re going to be able to get this cuddle cot, but I’ll support you 100 percent, Paige. That’s what my thoughts were,” he said. “We started this out of thin air and the next thing you know, we’re ordering and buying a cuddle cot.

“It really helped. It took a little bit of a burden off of me and actually gave us a purpose. And even though Aaron didn’t get to live his life, he still had a purpose, too.”

The couple, who is currently expecting and plans to use Ozark Healthcare for the delivery, has other plans to keep Aaron’s memory alive. They’d like to one day start a fund to help cover costs of families whose babies are stillborn. It’s all part of a gradual healing process, Paige said.

“I would tell someone going through this that it’s okay not to be okay, but don’t dwell on that either,” she said. “Every child’s life matters and even though a family loses a baby, you can still do things to bring purpose to your life and the life of your child. And that will connect you, even though that child is no longer here on earth.”